and the learning continues

just when i think i've learned a lot about myself, i just get thrown more to work on. more and more i need to realize that i'm a never ending and changing being.  everyday i learn more about myself and my god. if only it wasn't so emotionally draining sometimes... the pruning process is not easy. and neither is looking in the mirror sometimes when you realize you are wrong.

the gift of words

there is something to be said about being able to pour out feelings onto paper or on a screen and be able to put yourself somewhere else.  i love manipulating the way i think to put myself in someone elses shoes. right now, i feel as though God is telling me to write a book as inspiration for young women.  it is such a crazy thing, but for years now i have had this on my heart. and finally it is coming together. praise God!

the situations in my life have lead me to this point, and i am so thankful for them so that someday i can share them with others.

and the truth shall set you free...

yes, despite the fact that i think the title of this is utterly ridiculous, there is justification in that statement.  in this stage in my life, i desire the truth. the truth in how people feel, the truth in what is going on in other's lives, and the world.  that raw, almost unacceptable truth excites me.  the thought of being completely honest with those around me makes me feel free - the feeling that you are being honest and broken to the world around you.  broken in a way that is freeing, not hindering. freeing in the sense that others know exactly who you are and what you stand for without having to question.  if only this truth could exist all the time...

love one another

it sounds so simple doesn't it. love your neighbor as yourself, love your enemies, and love those around you. such straightforward statement, but do we always obey God's simple command?
i know i don't all the time, if i'm really honest. it is so difficult to love that person who hurt you, or the driver who just cut you off, or the friend who drives you crazy. the reality is though, we are called to love everyone. first loving god, and then loving those around us.

a blessing worth sharing

these past few weeks i have really been thinking about the idea that i am not perfect. not in a depressing way but in a libertaing way. i can't expect myself to always be thinking positive, happy things, and i know at some point i will say something i regret. i think i'm finally getting to the point where i can accept that. for so long i would beat myself up and get really upset with my actions/thoughts and be seriously reflective, and depending on the situation i think that is totally imperitive. but right now, i am just thankful for the blessing of God's love. no matter what i do, God still loves me, and He always will. 

i feel my responsibility is to always be transparent and share that i am not perfect. i have flaws, and i always will! but instead of trying to constantly fix them myself, i need to leave it to God.  He is the only one who can truly change me. i'm not talking about superficial things, i am talking about my character, my soul, my inner being.

my daily existence is for God alone, and even though i forget that sometimes, it is the truth, and it always will be. with out God i could not do anything. nothing. and by all means for the wonderful things God has blessed me with i only have God to thank. not my talent, not the connections i have, but God. for He places me where He desires me to be.

CommUNITY

i long for community. i long to be with god's people. speaking, learning, revealing, challenging.

there is a sense of UNITY in the spirit of god's people gathering together. in the realm of community there is oneness. there is clarity, there is energy, there is love.

we don't know all the right answers, and hell we all mess up. but with god as the pillar of our lives we always find our way out of the mess we've made.

so i propose an idea - when we find those in christ around us, we hold on. we connect, we build relationships, we learn from one another and encourage each other.

it is when we gather together and encourage each other that we feel empowered to reach out to others. or at least that is how i feel.

right now i see the true beauty in followers of christ ministering to each other - when they get together and the spirit in in the center there seems to be a sense of nourishment that comes from the gathering.

let us all join together and learn more about christ, ourselves and each other - so then we can reach those around us in love

overwhelming

feelings are real, we shouldn't be afraid of them, yet we are. instead we hid behind layers of our being.
the truth is hidden because it may not be accepted, or appropriate, or too early, or too late to say what we're feeling.

these masks keep changing and evolving into something different and they keep building on top of each other. at least until one day when they all fall off...

in reality feelings are REAL. they are something that should be expressed - they are a gift. although at times they feel like a curse...

these feelings can build a strong foundation or break someone to the core. either way they are real, and shouldn't be hidden.

Bringin' out some old stuff

This whole blogging thing is totally new to me. Since I don't feel like sharing my life story, I am going to share some poems/gatherings of words/lyrics/expressions of writing that have come to me in the past.  This first one I just found randomly in a journal. It's from March of 2009.

my people rise up
listen to the message I have set out for you

open the doors of your soul
let in the light of my son
so that each of those in my house will live with me

allow the love i have for you, to enter and live in you.
to show to others what they can have, what they crave

open the doors of your soul
let in the light of my son
so that each of you may live with me in my house forever

lift up your voices, as sacrifice to me,
let go of all those problems, and set aside the worries 
for i will fill the void you have 


I haven't read this probably since I wrote it, since it was buried in a journal. Just proof, God can reach you years after expressing something through you.

In love,
jenni lynne